When I lived in London I had the BEST time experimenting with fashion. Everything was fair game there, so there was no risk of failing. I felt good about my body (rugby fitness for the win), and I was willing to try on pretty much anything. Now, I realize in those first three sentences I am making it sound like I am as brave as this fabulous lady. Not so much. BUT I am way into her spirit and feeling inspired to experiment. Covid led me down a path of yoga pants and hoodies (and sweater mumus), which is definitely a side of me that will live on to infinity and beyond, but I like how it feels when I have a fun outfit on that really fits me, and more importantly, fits my personality. I find that if I have an outfit on that has jewelry from travels, a sweater that reminds me of fun times, and jeans that make my ass look good, I feel great. But - what if clothing doesn't fit well? Then suddenly I am my own worst enemy and it isn't about the clothes anymore but is IS about my self-worth. The switch happens in an instant.
Have you had that experience? Some people seem immune to ever feeling bad about their body, but with a history of eating disorders that immunity doesn't come as easily to me. I had to learn how to embrace my body. I have to work on staying focused on the joys in the curves of my body, celebrating cellulite, and distinguishing between wanting to work out for my emotional and physical health versus doing so to avoid feeling anxious about being a certain size. Therefore, not feeling like I have anything to wear is a moment of panic... and opportunity.
Friday night I went to a punk rock concert for the cover band Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. It took me 45 minutes to pick an outfit because 'I didn't have anything in my closet' and the last time I went to that concert I wore a turtleneck dress which screamed school librarian more than punk rock. (To be fair, I am probably more like a school librarian than a punk rocker but I like to switch it up, you know?) Now without fashion or wads of cash in my closet, I felt encouraged to try thrifting. I went to the Goodwill in the Haight and got to searching. Y'ALL - IT WAS GLORIOUS. I had to make a TT video.
There were so many good finds! Knit sweaters - check! Fun blouses - check! A belt I still haven't quite figured out yet - check! A grandma purse - check! A jumpsuit - check! I try them all on here. Feeling great! Highly recommend. Tips I learned? Go there in the morning on a Saturday. Make sure you had a snack beforehand. If you don't like, put it back. If it doesn't scream 'YES, I WANT YOU!', put it back. And most importantly, everything is much cheaper so if I don't like something when I get home, I can give it back or let it go. I can put some distance between how something fits and how much I put into my self-worth. Muah!
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